On fear

One of Namine’s greatest fears is getting a blood draw.

Her fear is often so great that merely anticipating one will upset her so much that she throws up. She had another blood draw this morning; she’s had several just days apart because, while on Coumadin, her blood levels must be monitored closely.

This morning, though, Namine wasn’t as upset at the thought of a blood draw as she has gotten in the past. The experience itself, as she has come to realize, isn’t that bad. She herself dictates the process: the tech doesn’t stick the needle in until Namine says, “One, two, three, ow!” And filling three vials of blood? No problem. But Namine is coming to realize — on her own terms, at her own pace — that the anticipation is worse than the actual blood draw.

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